Discovering the Meaning of Identity

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JAPAN Forward has launched "Ignite," a series to share the voices of students in Japan in English. What do they see beyond our imagined limits? How does discovering and understanding people from other cultures whose identity includes different sexual orientations help shape today's world? Individually and collectively, the next generation is leading the way.

This nineteenth essay introduces another winning work of the Institute for International Business Communication (IIBC) high school student English essay contest. Suzu Hattori, a student at Ichikawa Gakuen Ichikawa Senior High School, breaks the ice on discovering people of different backgrounds and sexual orientations and accepting them just as they are ー individuals and friends. How does that help us understand our own identities in this complicated world? Let's listen.

Nineteenth in the Series, 'Ignite'

Suzu Hattori, Winner of the 2024 America-Japan President's Award for Her IIBC English Language Essay.

Tempestuous clouds abruptly loomed over the city of Toronto, and before we knew it, violent rain plummeted to the ground, creating an intimidating rhythm. Desperate to reach the campus by dinner, we dashed through the streets like seven impalas chased by cheetahs. "Look! A rainbow!" I heard a girl exclaim, but as much as I wanted a glimpse of it, my eyes were blurred by the constant stabs of rain. Never had I imagined that these strangers would be the most valuable gift in this pre-university summer camp at the University of Toronto.

Having arrived on the campus in time, the elevator door to the cafeteria opened with a heavy creak, revealing a metal room with seven soaking wet people, water dripping down darkened jeans. Still panting, I quickly grabbed a bowl of tomato pasta and settled in at a round table to finally clearly see everyone's faces.

I immediately fell in love with their effervescent personalities, laughing about how wet their clothes were and how we must fight over the shower afterwards. We talked unceasingly for an hour, and it almost felt as if we had been best friends for years, except that we were all from different countries: Spain, Nigeria, Thailand, Turkey, the USA, Colombia, and Japan.

On our first Friday night, we squeezed onto the worn-out sofa with popcorn on our laps to watch the Olympic women's soccer game in the common room.

"I play center midfield," I murmured, being glued to the TV for the penalty kick.

"My girlfriend too!" Maia, the Spanish girl, jovially jumped up from the couch, making us fall like dominoes. Did she just say girlfriend?

Accepting Bisexual Friends

While everyone else continued the conversation, I was perplexed by that one word. Did I mishear it with "boyfriend"? My scrunched eyebrows and squinting eyes were conspicuous enough for Maia to softly ask, "Is it your first time meeting a bisexual teenager?" I gingerly nodded.

Living in Japan, in a homogeneous environment, LGBTQ was merely a buzzword to me. Even though I had actively participated in various SDG-related presentation contests and workshops, the topic of non-binary gender and sexual orientation always felt untouchable.

Following Maia, 2 more divulged the complicated relationships they had with "identity" and the girl from Thailand, who confessed to be bicurious, expressed how she was currently in the process of discovering herself. Many parts of her story felt like a reminiscence of my childhood, which made me very sympathetic and emotional.

As a third-culture kid, I have always had a feeling of alienation and detachment for not having a specific culture to belong to. Both of my parents are Japanese, but I was born and raised in Hong Kong, disciplined in a British-curriculum school. Due to such a multicultural childhood, I was at times confused about my national identity. Therefore, I would struggle to find a consistent self-perception.

Narrator of Our Own Lives

However, my concept of identity has now been overridden, as Maia taught me that identity is for us to create and enjoy, not something that controls who we are. The more she introduced me to the world of LGBTQ, the more I understood the significance of exploring unique identities. I am glad that we were able to grow the bond of trust to openly articulate our emotions and experiences, because every word we shared helped me reveal and accept my true self, reminding me that I am the narrator of my life.

The next 2 weeks were so fulfilling that in a blink, it was our departure day. A mist of rain sprinkled like confetti as we buried our faces into each other's chests, cherishing our last group hug. None of us knew whether it was the rain that blurred our eyes or our tears.

Waving my numb arms as I was slowly swallowed by the airport bus, Maia's face suddenly brightened, her frown turning into a beautiful upward crescent. Even through the reflection of her hazel eyes, I saw it with all colors vivid. I turned and saw it glow — a rainbow.　

About the Author:

Suzu Hattori was a first-year student at Ichikawa Gakuen Ichikawa Senior High School when she contributed this essay in 2024. Upon winning the America-Japan President's Award in the IIBC essay contest, she shared these remarks:

"I am very honored to receive the America-Japan Society President's Award.

"This summer, I studied abroad at the University of Toronto in Canada for three weeks. By interacting with a diverse group of peers and living in a completely new environment, I felt I finally understood my own identity and unique characteristics. I realized that in this global society, it is precisely because of our diverse and different people that each of us can shine. That is why I wrote this essay. I hope to continue to think broadly and become a person who can make a difference on the world stage. Thank you very much."